ICYMI – May is Mental Health Awareness Month. While tending to your mental health and advocating against stigma is important ALL THE TIME, I would be remiss if I didn’t take this opportunity to highlight some mental health strategies from a parenting perspective.

Studies show that poor mental health in parents is associated with poor mental (and physical) health in children. This personally has me terrified and I’m sure other parents are worried too. According to the World Health Organization, the COVID-19 pandemic has triggered a 25% increase in the prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide.

The stakes are high. However, there are steps we as parents can take to promote positive mental health in ourselves, and our children. Starting with, ourselves.

Promoting Positive Mental Health in Ourselves as Parents

Healthline published an awesome article just after the start of the pandemic on The Best Strategies for Parents to Boost Their Mental Health. Their recommendations boil down to the following:

• Care for your basic needs
• Take mental health breaks
• Stick to your treatment
• Be gentle with yourself

I’ve expanded on these concepts below, with my own tips and recommended resources.

Care for your basic needs

When we talk about “self-care”, often this summons images of a bubble bath and champagne, a day at the spa, or some other luxurious self-indulgent activity. Real self-care is less about “treating yourself” and more about remembering that you are human, and you have needs too. This means taking care of the basics: eat healthy, get some exercise, and prioritize sleep.

As a parent, taking care of ourselves can often feel selfish, or like a luxury that we don’t have time for. What’s important to remember (and normalize) is that taking care of yourself is a pre-requisite to taking care of others, and it’s critical to make time. Just think about the instructions you get on an airplane: “put on your own oxygen mask first.”

I know this is easier said than done. I also know that taking care of the basics can be extra challenging if you are living with a mental illness. That’s why I love the “Hygiene Hacks” offered by The Mighty (a great resource and community for those facing health challenges). I can honestly say I’ve used several of these strategies to maintain my sanity and my health, and I’m sure some of you have too.

Take mental health breaks

Beyond caring for your basic physical needs, it’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional needs. Taking care of your mental health is like taking care of a car. You need tune-ups, preventative maintenance is key, and just letting a problem go untreated is dangerous and costly.

But what does it mean to take care of your mental health? This post from Scary Mommy explains how it’s helpful to think of self-care as a mindset, rather than something you “do”, or need to spend money on. And just like your physical health, you need to be intentional. The good news is you can start small.

Here’s a few ideas of how to care for yourself mentally and emotionally:

• Take a break. From work, from kids, from whatever is draining your energy. Use the time to do things that fill you with joy or help you recharge. This may be the stereotypical bubble bath and face mask, or something as simple as taking a walk.
• Talk about your emotions. It can be a trusted friend, a spouse, or a therapist. But at the end of the day, this is important preventative maintenance when it comes to your mental health.
• Set boundaries. Part of the self-care mindset is to be aware of what drains you (physically and emotionally), and set boundaries. Boundaries can be professional (work), or personal (self or relationships) and can look like:
  • Limiting social media time/exposure
  • Not checking work emails on evenings/weekends
  • Creating an off-limits space in your house (if possible, depending on age of your kids)
  • Asking for help or encouragement when you need it instead of just doing everything yourself
• Connect with other people. This is a little harder if you’re trying to practice social distancing, but not impossible. Try face-timing an old friend, scheduling a zoom happy hour, or getting outside with family and friends. Connecting online with a community of parents might also be useful.

A little bit of self-care can go a long way, so be proud of whatever steps you can take, no matter how small.

Stick to your treatment

Therapy isn’t just for people with diagnosed mental illness or who are navigating a life crisis. It has a multitude of benefits for all, and it’s designed to help with nearly every aspect of life, from the seemingly benign to the most devastating.

Mental health isn’t the easiest to get in this country, and can often be pricey if you need to pay out of pocket. Here’s a few options if you’re struggling to find the help you need:

• 8 Free Therapy Resources to Try If You Can’t Afford to See Someone
• Therapy for Every Budget and How to Access it
• The 9 Best Affordable Online Therapy and Mental Health Support Options for 2022

If you do happen to live with a mental illness, it is critical to keep up with whatever regimen you’ve developed with your mental health professionals.

Be gentle with yourself

Practice self-compassion excessively. Among other resources, Positivepsychology.com shares the following tips:

• Treat yourself as you’d treat a friend
• Become more self aware
• (Re)gain perspective

Sometimes “me” is the hardest person to love and forgive, and yet can often be the most important.

Moral of the Story…

The first step in promoting positive mental health for your family is prioritizing your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being. What this means for each of us as individuals is different, and our individual capacity will vary from day to day. The important thing is to remember what is at stake and celebrate the baby steps.

Have your own self-care tips? Comment below! Subscribe to this blog to ensure you don’t miss it!

_{Note: I’m not a psychiatrist. I am a mental health warrior. These recommendations are based on a variety of resources and my own personal experiences. Hope they help you or a loved one.}